The Italian man who went to Malta[DOWNLOAD]

One a day I’m gonna to Malta to big a hotel. In a morning I got down to eat a breakfast. I tell a waitress: “I wanna two pieces of toast.”
She brings me only one piece.
I tell her: “I wanna two piece.”
She says: “Go to the toilet.”
I say: “You don’t understand? I wanna two piece in my plate.”
She says: “You better no piss in a plate, you son of a bitch!”
I don’t even know the lady and she call me son of a bitch.

I go to eat to a bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me the spoon, the knife but no fork. I tell her: “I wanna the fork.”
She tells me: “Everybody wanna fuck.”
I tell her: “You don’t understand? I wanna the fork at the table.”
She says: “You better not fuck at the table you son of a bitch!”

So I go back to my room in a hotel and there is no sheets on the bed. Call the manager. I tell him: “I wanna sheet.”
He tell me: “To go to the toilet.”
I say: “You don’t understand? I wanna sheet on a bed.”
He says: “You better not shit on my bed you son of a bitch.”
I go to the check out and the man at the desk said: “Peace on you!”
I said: “Piss on you too, you son of a bitch.”
I’m gonna back to Italia.

3 Responses to "The Italian man who went to Malta"

  1. Michael Says:
    I’ve read it before. I think the name of that version I read was “terrible Italian English”
  2. 细菌 Says:
  3. 埯姬 Says: